Finding the Funny
Because why not laugh at shit?
It's been hard to see the humor in my own life the last year and a half. I've been too busy folding laundry, packing lunch boxes, trying to hold down my job while mourning and adjusting to life as a single mom, trying to deal with an intense, loving but complicated and at times devastating new relationship, grocery shopping, paying bills, tending to sick children... it has been overwhelming, and it is sometimes hard to be humorous while feeling overwhelmed.
But recently I have started to see my life not as tragic, but as absurd. It helps so fucking much.
I have a choice. I can either stress out about the fact that my 6 year old puts his shirt on backwards every single day, or I can laugh at it. I can either punch a wall when my 2 year old tries to flush crayons down our toilet, or I can laugh at it. I can either cry into my pillow at night when I get to the end of an exhausting day, or I can look back at the day, with all its ups and downs, and laugh at it.
I'm choosing laughter. Because choosing to just feel overwhelmed, and to not laugh at the craziness of this life, feels like self-punishment. I don't want what has happened in my life to take away from my ability to live, and I don't want to get to the end of my life having cried more than I have laughed.
Let's laugh together.
It's been hard to see the humor in my own life the last year and a half. I've been too busy folding laundry, packing lunch boxes, trying to hold down my job while mourning and adjusting to life as a single mom, trying to deal with an intense, loving but complicated and at times devastating new relationship, grocery shopping, paying bills, tending to sick children... it has been overwhelming, and it is sometimes hard to be humorous while feeling overwhelmed.
But recently I have started to see my life not as tragic, but as absurd. It helps so fucking much.
I have a choice. I can either stress out about the fact that my 6 year old puts his shirt on backwards every single day, or I can laugh at it. I can either punch a wall when my 2 year old tries to flush crayons down our toilet, or I can laugh at it. I can either cry into my pillow at night when I get to the end of an exhausting day, or I can look back at the day, with all its ups and downs, and laugh at it.
I'm choosing laughter. Because choosing to just feel overwhelmed, and to not laugh at the craziness of this life, feels like self-punishment. I don't want what has happened in my life to take away from my ability to live, and I don't want to get to the end of my life having cried more than I have laughed.
Let's laugh together.
Good Day. My name is Fred Marcano, a devoted follower from Twitter.
ReplyDeleteThis was heartfelt and beautifully written on your blog. I send you prayers and best wishes to bring you comfort. Your children are a gift from Our Lord. You are blessed with the strength to endure and prevail against the odds. I sincerely send you my sentiments and condolences for your loss.
I am sorry to intrude but became intrigued by your blog. I am honored with your connection and sincere tweets and am grateful we're on the same side fighting against those opposing our inherited liberties and freedom.
I wish you and your family a happy new year. If you ever feel like you need to vent or comment about anything just know I am here for you via Twitter.
Peace✌️ and may God Bless you and your family always.
😇🙏🌷 🎄🎁🇺🇸
Sincerely Yours,
Fred Marcano
Fmarcanojr@gmail.com
Text via 908-875-8427
Thank you so much, Fred. You are so incredibly generous with your kindness. I'm grateful you found me, that you took the time to read my posts, and that you took even more time to write this beautiful message. Wishing you and your loved ones an incredible new year filled with light and love.
DeleteI follow you on twitter and just today clicked on your blog and read it all. I am drawn in, your courage, your strength and the love you have for your children will move you forward in your life. God bless you
DeleteLate yesterday I found you, and thoroughly enjoyed the comments you posted.
ReplyDeleteAfter having been rewarded by many of them, and grateful for your contributions I settled on the one that made me laugh so hard that my adorable dog friends woke; so we shared.
Which one? "Remember sanity? That was fun."
After a long shower I was disappointed that Twitter hid you. But now you're back. Thank you.
I'm easy to find. Ever just want to vent. I'd be honored if you ever wish to share those as well.
I don't know your appearance, just that you're beautiful.
Richard Hanson, 703-955-0000 (yes, really), or 703 573 1962, or Selah613@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Richard. For reading, for writing, and for offering to be a friend in more ways that just as a reader. Incredibly grateful for you reaching out and being so kind and human.
DeleteI feel what you are writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Michael. So glad it resonates.
DeleteAfter my wife passed, you know... Some time during the first year after, between work, 2kids in hockey, coaching HS hockey, softball, etc. One of my kids (and I honestly don't remember which one) said, "well, at least it's not boring!" . Later that night, when I actually had time to think about it, it just really clicked. Since then I have been laughing at life and truly appreciating the challenges and gifts that life has given me. I call the tough times "Lima beans" The saying that gets me through is "if it weren't for Lima beans, we could never truly appreciate how good birthday cake is 😀" .
ReplyDeleteFeel free to reach out if you like.
Thank you so much. I think I go up and down the rollercoaster of being able to see things for the humor and feeling things very deeply, in a way that does not allow humor easily, but I am trying to constantly remind myself that I only have one life, and it would be best to fill my days with happiness as much as I can.
DeleteI follow you on twitter and just came across your blog this evening. I feel your words. I've had a rough year too. On twitter, you're @dvorakoelling. Is Koelling your last name? I only ask, because it is my mother's maiden name. She is rapidly declining in health and I was just wondering if you are related to her family, or was it your married name? Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteKoelling is my married name, but it could still mean there is a connection. It isn't very common!
DeleteI stumbled on your blog tonight after seeing a re-tweet of yours. (Twitter can be such a rabbit hole....) My last year was tough between a divorce and losing my dad, but I'm impressed with your strength in surviving and dealing with your own situation. I'll keep a good thought for you and your kids. Seems like they're in good hands!
ReplyDeleteThis blog caught me by complete surprise. Linked from Twitter, and after following your posts for a substantial amount of time, I did not anticipate a blog of such depth and meaning. That is NOT to say your writing isn't alway eloquent, just, like me, what I post is mostly anger directed at the current administration.
ReplyDeleteIn my comment on Twitter, I reference "silver linings." And in some sense, finding such a heartfelt and meaningful blog -- far apart from the vitriol of Twitter -- IS a silver lining. However, reading and learning of your "journey," took me back to my period(s) of grief and loss, and the difficult times therein. I feel very deeply for you!
Having been there -- and sometimes still reverting back -- I have learned a lot about grief and how to live with it. So perhaps, in keeping with a positive outlook, in the future, I can share some experiences? I will NOT try to "impart wisdom" or tell you how you "should" grieve. I also intimately understand, there are NO WORDS to take away the pain. Sometimes though, just talking or writing with people that have also lost a spouse can be helpful. It helped, and still helps, me...
I'm currently sporting a wrist injury, so typing is kinda rough, but I'll continue reading your blog. So for now, I'll send positive energy your way and wish you, and your family, peace!
Sincerely,
-Paul
Hi, Paul. I would love this. Can you let me know your Twitter handle and I can reach out that way? Thank you so much.
DeleteAlthough it's not my best work, my Twitter handle is Fire2Wire. I use the account ONLY for expressing my anger towards trump and his band of criminals in the WH and GOP.
DeleteTypically, I'm much happier than my angry Twitter account might show. :-)
It is wonderful getting to know you a bit better, I found you on Twitter, and loved your sense of humor, and passion. Your writing is helping me deal with some of my own issues, so thank you so much for sharing..
ReplyDeleteThank you for saying that, Norm. It is really helpful to me to know I'm just not writing words in an empty space, but they are meaningful in some way, big or small, to someone who reads them. I hope you are doing ok.
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