The Final Straw
The final straw was a text.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
He told me he was divorcing her. He told me the divorce was in process. He showed me emails from his lawyer when I grew skeptical. He told me he was divorcing her when he needed money. He told me he was divorcing her before we had sex. He told me he was divorcing her before I moved to be closer to him. He told me he hated her. He told me that she was crazy, which was why she was texting him at night. He told me she was crazy, which was why she would text me at night and say mean things to me. He told me she was crazy, which is why she blamed me for killing my husband, told me I was an awful parent, that I was ugly, that I was an awful wife, and an awful person. He told me she was crazy, and that I should block her voice, because her voice told me he didn't love me, and that wasn't true. That is what he told me.
The final straw was a text.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
Her words were always mean. I understand it. She hated me. I appeared, and he disappeared, and she hated me for it. Not him. She loves him. She hated me. So her words were always mean.
The final straw was a text.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
She came at me with daggers. Voice recordings, photos, screen shots of messages, all evidence she had been gathering to try to prove to me that he didn't love me. He was lying in bed beside me, and she was sending me forensic evidence of why he would leave me. Day after day. Piles of words and images and recordings. He told me to block her. He told me to ignore her. Because her voice, and her evidence, which he said was not real evidence, told me he didn't love me, and that wasn't true. That is what he told me.
The final straw was a text.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
She told me he had slept at her house, not his parents' house, as he had told me.
She told me he hated my children. She told me he thought my children were annoying, that he would never want to be their father. That he thought I was a terrible parent because my son still wore diapers and had a pacifier.
It was two texts.
My children came home from camp two summers ago and their father was dead. My little boy, who is now almost potty trained, lost his father when he was 18 months old. My daughter fears losing me every single day of her life.
My children are not annoying. My children cry. My children lost their dad, very suddenly, two years ago. It is hard for them. It is so hard for them. They have one parent. They have me.
The final straw was a text.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
He told me to block her, because her voice told me he didn't love me, and that wasn't true. So I blocked her. Then he went to her, and he left his phone with her, and she wrote to me and told me he thought my children, who lost their father to suicide two years ago, were annoying.
I looked at my children, who were sitting in the car with me. I looked at my texts. And it was done.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
He told me he was divorcing her. He told me the divorce was in process. He showed me emails from his lawyer when I grew skeptical. He told me he was divorcing her when he needed money. He told me he was divorcing her before we had sex. He told me he was divorcing her before I moved to be closer to him. He told me he hated her. He told me that she was crazy, which was why she was texting him at night. He told me she was crazy, which was why she would text me at night and say mean things to me. He told me she was crazy, which is why she blamed me for killing my husband, told me I was an awful parent, that I was ugly, that I was an awful wife, and an awful person. He told me she was crazy, and that I should block her voice, because her voice told me he didn't love me, and that wasn't true. That is what he told me.
The final straw was a text.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
Her words were always mean. I understand it. She hated me. I appeared, and he disappeared, and she hated me for it. Not him. She loves him. She hated me. So her words were always mean.
The final straw was a text.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
She came at me with daggers. Voice recordings, photos, screen shots of messages, all evidence she had been gathering to try to prove to me that he didn't love me. He was lying in bed beside me, and she was sending me forensic evidence of why he would leave me. Day after day. Piles of words and images and recordings. He told me to block her. He told me to ignore her. Because her voice, and her evidence, which he said was not real evidence, told me he didn't love me, and that wasn't true. That is what he told me.
The final straw was a text.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
She told me he had slept at her house, not his parents' house, as he had told me.
She told me he hated my children. She told me he thought my children were annoying, that he would never want to be their father. That he thought I was a terrible parent because my son still wore diapers and had a pacifier.
It was two texts.
My children came home from camp two summers ago and their father was dead. My little boy, who is now almost potty trained, lost his father when he was 18 months old. My daughter fears losing me every single day of her life.
My children are not annoying. My children cry. My children lost their dad, very suddenly, two years ago. It is hard for them. It is so hard for them. They have one parent. They have me.
The final straw was a text.
From his phone. But it was her. His (ex) wife.
He told me to block her, because her voice told me he didn't love me, and that wasn't true. So I blocked her. Then he went to her, and he left his phone with her, and she wrote to me and told me he thought my children, who lost their father to suicide two years ago, were annoying.
I looked at my children, who were sitting in the car with me. I looked at my texts. And it was done.
Much love to you D for all you have gone through. Your kids are amazing. I hope you know that. Truly know that.
ReplyDeleteI hope you surround yourself with healthy people. If you ever doubt it, walk away from that person. They are not deserving of you. You and your kids deserve it. They will be great, because of you.
Your friend,
Dan
What in the world were you doing with a MARRIED man in the first place?!
ReplyDeleteAgree with Dan. Ignore Gianna.
ReplyDeleteYou were the victim. Horrible circumstances. Then vulnerable, victimized again. And again. But still left with beauty. Three.
Dear DK, I'm a white-haired retiree, never with children. Just longing. Wish I were there.
Look at your likes. There are hundreds, thousands?, of us who appreciate you, care about and for you. And your children.
We can't help with much, but wish we could.
You're a sensitive, strong, incredible woman.
If you can think of where we could help, hope you have the strength to ask. We care.
Richard H1818
aka Selah 613
ReplyDeleteBeautiful powerful writing.
Amazing rhythms.
I know that's no consolation when it's your life, but wow, you know how to tell your story. Punchy, immediate, piercing, completely unlike anything I've read before.