Dental Crown

My husband killed himself on July 18th, in the middle of the summer, which is my favorite season, except it isn’t my favorite season anymore.

My husband killed himself on a Tuesday, on a workday, in the middle of the day.

My husband killed himself right after getting a dental crown replaced. He woke up, got dressed, went to work, and left work an hour or so later to go to his dental appointment to get his dental crown replaced. And then he came home and he hung himself in our basement.

My husband texted me at 9 am when I was in a meeting at work. He said “Got my crown replaced. Feels much better now. See you at therapy.”

According to the paramedics, by the time I found my husband’s body hanging in our basement, after I rushed home from the therapy appointment he missed, expecting to find him packing or drunk, he had been dead for several hours. They said his body had been hanging from a rope for a while. They said he probably hung himself between 10 am and 11 am.

My husband got a dental crown replaced, was grateful that it felt better, and then he came home and put a rope around his neck and made himself stop breathing.

I called the dentist's office two days later. I said "Did my husband actually come in to get his crown replaced?"

They said yes. 

I said "Did he seem ok?"

They said yes.

I said "My husband killed himself right after he got his crown replaced."

They said oh god.


My husband paid for a dental crown he would wear for an hour. 

He was relieved to be more comfortable. 

And then he hung himself.



I think about this always. It still makes no sense.

Comments

  1. Would you mind if i sharec your Blog? This may help so many families I know touched by suicide.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wife's husband had been a chef, one of a small group who started a restaurant/brew pub. It went really well. A couple years went by. Restaurant life is a load of stress, many late nights... lots of hard partying people. He went back to some younger years/bad habits after their son was born.

    He could be a great guy, lots of fun, so personable, everyone said so... and also could choke his wife unconscious & throw her in a closet.

    Best I've been able to find out over the years, this was not an isolated incident.

    Went "to play golf" with a friend one Sunday; didn't call or come back till Monday evening, when he reappeared at the house, ransacked the place for drugs, then argued with his mother who'd come looking for him, then he shot himself in front of her.

    My wife is as strong as the day is long (usually). She survived, with an 18 mo old son & a daughter (born Sept '01) on the way.

    We met in '03, married in '04, had our own son in '06 (long story http://redhairblackleather.blogspot.com/).

    Even after all these years, she will occasionally mention things from those days. I can only be there for her & be on the watch, all the time.

    Hugs & so on to you & yours...

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. It sounds like your wife went through hell, and I know a fraction of what she must have felt and must still feel. It is hard when you are with someone, and you want things to be normal, and you try to make things more normal, and other people see things as normal, but they are not normal. You do a lot of internalizing and justifying the unjustifiable in your head.

      So glad your wife now has you. I am sure it can be hard for you both some days - that things will come up, and ghosts are still around, and that the past influences the present in big and small ways, but it sounds like you are listening and supporting, and that is incredible.

      Sending love to you both.

      Delete
  3. I was a dental hygienist and a patient I knew casually (we both were from farming families) had a bridge put in. (A lengthy and costly procedure) One week later he shot himself. It still baffles me to this day. Going through the motions of everyday life and then just ending it. Your story has once again reminded me that you never know what struggles people are going through. Thank you for sharing your story, which has no doubt helped others who have read it.

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